Monday, August 4, 2008

What I'm Not

I'm not a helpful packer. I'm not hungry, though a strawberry sundae does sound good. I'm not underwhelmed by Adam Zagajewski's Eternal Enemies. I'm not at all disinterested in reading Ander's Other Electricities, but it's on the side table yet. I'm still not reading as much as I should be, especially when I need to spend the next three years studying for exams. I'm not surprised very often, really. I'm not a bad detective, or at least I'm not unaware of my surroundings, how the little things which motivate people's actions are linked. I'm not at all prepared to send a syllabus to the Comp Director at UT. I'm not going to play a bad round of golf on Friday morning with my friends, my relatives, my soon-to-be relatives. I'm not comfortable typing on a laptop, and I don't think I ever will be. I'm not not looking forward to Saturday. I'm not wearing socks at the moment. I'm not going to mark "Single" on my taxes in January. I'm not sure how to find what books I need to buy for my classes. I'm not not thirsty. I'm not sure Mid-American Review will ever get back to me about whether they accepted a poem of mine or not, a process that started when I mailed a submission last October and was made worse when an editor told me she "thought they had, but [she]'d have to check [her] records when [she] get back to the office from [her] vacation," found in an email from early June. I'm not at ease with the fact M. and I haven't signed a lease for the house we'll be renting yet. I'm not a fan of ceiling fans, no matter how fast they revolve, because they will always be trumped by air conditioning, even if the A/C is provided by one of those obnoxiously loud, old-school units that weigh five hundred pounds, leak on the hardwood floor/carpet, and aren't capable of being controlled by a remote control. I'm not sure which is the best smile to use for all the pictures I'll be in this weekend. I'm not as physically close to as many friends as I'd like to be, which makes the RSVP process less exciting. I'm not as knowledgeable about clouds as I wished I was when I was eight. I'm not a novice in fixing leaks in Aero-beds anymore. I'm not sure M.'s gift is going to arrive in time. I'm not as unsentimental with my belongings as I should be, which is troublesome when moving. I'm not looking forward to loading a truck next Monday. I'm not not a fan of linear posts, but I'm not against ones that end where they began, either, even if it's a trite way to create unity.